Death and I have a conversation.

*feels tap on shoulder, turns around to look into the burning eyes of DEATH*

Death: hi.

Me: hi.

Death: I have come to take you away to the realm of lost souls.

Me: ok.

Death: You will face judgment before the high order, and they will decide your fate. You will descend or ascend, or simply remain suspended in limbo, condemned to dwell in the void for all existence.

Me: ok.

Death: Would you like to put up a struggle, and leave this universe with a bang, or do you prefer a quiet exit? Do you want fireworks and explosions, or would you rather take the quieter route, in which you simply deflate like an old car tyre?

Me: I'm an indecisive person. I don't know. I can't decide anything. I can't even decide what ELECTIVES to pick, for the sake of goodness! Chinese or Multimedia... Chinese or Multimedia... that's what it keeps coming back to! I step on the scales, and rather than seeing 12435365467kg, I see 'CHINESE OR MULTIMEDIA???' staring back at me! I don't know what I want! Help me!

Death: You digress.

Me: I do.

Death: So... going with a bang or going quietly?

Me: You pick. You pick! You pick for me! I simply cannot decide!

Death: Would you like me to throw some dice?

Me: No, no, just pick. No chance, no logic, no nothing. Just... pick. Randomity. Yes, that's what I want. A random act of fate.

Death: I've met Fate. He prefers to be known as Kismet. A much more glamorous title, don't you think?

Me: I don't care. Just pick.

Death: *holds out his hands* Pick a hand.

Me: You idiot, that's chance! I said I just wanted randomity!

Death: Chance... randomity... it's all the same, really. You've got to dig a little deeper... find out who you are!

Me: What? What? Did my ears deceive me? Did you just sing... a song from The Princess and the Frog? Did you just sing... a DISNEY SONG?

Death: ... so what if I did?

Me: Well, excuse me for being shocked! You're Death, you know? All psycho and everything. You go and take people to 'the realm of lost souls' and all that. Everybody is a potential victim for you. All humanity fears your power! You're so proficient they don't even see you coming!

Death: Well, of course not. I have an invisibility cloak, remember?

Me: So you can sneak up on people. Sometimes you get bored of running at them, flapping your arms and shrieking...

Death: OK, time's up. I'm going to shoot you with an AK-47 before disapparating, and your death can be a mystery to the future generations. You're going out with a bang, whether you like it or not. Oh, and you're doing Multimedia.

Me: I am?! What?! No way!

*gets shot in the chest, falls down, splutters for a couple of seconds, coughs up a little blood, sneezes twice, shuts eyes, crosses arms over heart, bleeds, and dies with my future still undecided*